19 February 2012 . 17:01

caught this on my way t sch in th cab. i nearly opened tht tab and took th brochure. thats how this phrase really made me realise tht.. i think.. im kinda.. a depressed person. sigh. am i? :/

 was playing w an app i downloaded whr you take th pic and edit right thr and den. look, th first one is my wall and shelves. full of memories. pictures and toys. and th second one, well.. kiki jumped down th other day and landed happy. he's okay though. hee. but still stinky. >:/

18 February 2012 . 06:07

1st episode: saying hi tyou in th room and not even a min passed by whn you asked for her. i nearly teared thr. idk why whn you asked for her, i got so jealous and hurt tht i wanted t cry. yeah, some ppl say its just cos you want us both thr, thts a fair conclusion but i just couldnt help feeling hurt. so before i did smth childish, like cry infront of you, i told you i'd bring her in and you nodded. so i jst went out.


2nd episode: i came late cos of sch and th toeys fetched me. th first thing i saw whn i entered wus th bed. i kept quiet, cos i dint kno anyth. and wht wus th first thing i heard? 'tonight im sleeping here!' said th young one. my heart just ripped further but i kept quiet. i feel so outcast. yeah, mrs toey said maybe they were thinking of my schwork. uhm.. doesnt th young one have schwork t do too? maybe. but atleast, have th courtesy t discuss wimme. as a family. if i am rly a family, tht thought would hv occured tyou.. right?


3rd episode: mr lim wus given a special permission as th caregiver, tht means no need t reg everytime he comes and he can come in anytime he wants. whn we went down t gv others a chance t visit, he asked for another slip of th caregiver. it wus for th young one. i kept it light and said, den why i dunt have? so leceh i must reg everytime i come. and i showed him th brochure tht says temporary pass fr th days mrs lim stayed thr. and he said you no need la. just reg like th rest.


4th episode: woke up and wus packing stuffs for th young one's second night thr. and asked mr lim if we were going t bunk in thr too. he said 'i'd probably be'. and i whispered, den me? whn i cooled down, i went t ask agn, 'den me?' and guess what he said.. you go hm la. alah idk.


am i so transparent tht you dunt count me as an important one? yeah i may not be th favourite one, but i do wna spend time w her more ykno. w a pass like th rest, i hv t keep going out t gv thm a chance t visit. i must waste time not seeing her. yeah, she maybe getting better. but she is not well. why cant you guys see me as an equal w th young one?

yeah, i may sound jealous but fuck it. i AM jealous. and hurt. th memories i have w mom is so lil. and most of thm are whn either one of us hurts th other. why cant i be th one she brings shopping with? why cant i be th one she brings t accompany her t run fun errands? why cant i be thr for her whn she needs her love ones around?
im only thr for her during hard times. like running errands tht include loads of weight. accompanying her during th night, acting as a bodyguard. staying up w her til late night, waiting for dad t come home. im only thr for her through her dark days and her needy times. i wna be thr for her for her happy moments too. i wna be th one t make her happy, not remind her of th hard times. why.. why not me?

14 February 2012 . 16:56

hi. finally 14th is over. th only thing im happy about it wus tht my it wus my cousin's wedding anniversary. aw t that. but other den that, it wus a normal tuesday w annoying flowers, balloons and ugly giant teddies everywhr. like uhm, th date is so overrated and not special? psshhh. rolling eyes for th 1001 time. srsly. -.-
but today wus kinda an emotional day for two of my mates. they teared and im glad i wus th one t see their tears and gv them an awkward side hug. i dunt know, i just feel like its my responsibility t be thr for people and make them feel relieved. yeah, im not quite good w happyrahrah occassions. but i think im not bad when it comes t a listening-ear-and-a-hug kinda session. heh. im not bad, right? :/ haiya, i hope im not bad la. so yes. and both of them were caught in two different love situations and just needed a presence i suppose.

hey boy, be strong and make a right decision okay. you've.. well both of you made wrong moves th last time. and as i get t kno you better, i kno you are really into her and is lost wout her presence. if she is really th true source of your happiness, pls.. for fuck sake.. put in your effort and start over okay? yes, start from scratch, start from a new page. you can do it if you have set your mind t it kay. ya, you may think that she doesnt deserve you. but from tht lil gift thr, you could see that she does love you right? she is only afraid cos you are her first. prove her wrong. be thr for her as her bestf, her love. someone whom she can count on, share her happy thoughts and lean on when she's down. alright? dunt worry, im here t help. or just be someone who you can share your thoughts, or get opinions and stuffs. yknow, like.. a blog? maybe. idk. heh.

hey girl, dunt be too afraid. not all guys are like that. yes, you are frightened thanks t your fucked up past. but hey, guess what? everyone fucks up every now and den. im a goodenough example right? i fucked up more den you whn it comes t relationship. ykno what im talking about. cos i did tell you my deepdarksecret. hah. just dunt take it too fast. i mean, you guys did ctc each other bfr this. and you guys are getting t kno each other better thanks t schedule right? so.. take this opportunity t get t kno each other more through this similar proj you guys are doing on. like what you said, both of you know that u guys have feelings for each other right? but th way he answers frightens you. well, guess what. thr is no rule that says you have to follow his lead. you set your own pace in this gettoknowyou session and kno him well enough okay? i mean, he is a nice guy. a gentleman tyou, as i see it. and i can see he has th patience whn it comes t you. so why not just voice some parts of your trouble t him. i'll bet he undstands. he is kinds matured whn it comes t this kinda thing. i think. whn i talk t him, he seems tht way. just dunt let your fear make u regret. thats all k? (:

13 February 2012 . 17:13

anyhoos, i dunt even kno why i said tht. i mean, i dint really celebrated Valns day. my 14th is like any othr day. okay maybe i buy myself free chocs in sch since they always sell it cheaper. heh. and i enjoy w friends.. like any othr day. -.- i dunt remember celebrating it. i think its just a bullshit day. sides, u have t spend more money. -.- cos everyth is expensive on tht day. shops all cheat our money. haha.

it maybe a happy14 tyou guys. but mine would forever be a happy11. a whisper t th wind, i wish t th moon/sky or a text t tht stranger. thts mine. a special date. a date tht not all celebrate. i like it tht way. heh. and i really love th recent 11th. i guess risks are awesome sometimes huh. hee. he wus like 'whoa u are random' and i say im taking th risk. he asked me wht risk, i dare not tell him. its a risk.. cos he may not answer. and eventho he answer, i will eventually go into depression in th days t come. but he did make me happy cos he said he like surprises and expect me t wish unexpectedly agn. and uhm, HE surprised me by saying he still keep a random gift of mine. thr, its up thr. heh. its just smth random. a box full of straw hearts. idk how many. and i suppose thr is a letter next t it and a bday card. see.. buttercup and spongebob. me and him. (: and i just realised th blackwhite fship band i gave him is in th box too. whoa. im srsly touched. i mean, atleast he treasured it aft all th hardship he went thru w me. and tht is like wht, 4-5years ago presents? hah. he could have like, thrown it away during spring cleaning or smth, but see.. its still thr. le sigh. okay, i think i better stop bfr my depression starts faster.

anyways, i had a talk w aida and khoi. deepdarksecrets talk. i mean, i wus embarrassed but they made me realise tht everyone has their mistakes and weaknesses. i really felt like breaking down just now, remembering those dark days. i really wish i could get rid of it so i would not feel like a used tissue. or atleast not feel cheap and.. worthless. yeah. i feel.. worthless. and they were talking abt rships and how we shd rly be straightforward w our feelings. and it got me thinking and making me wna take th risk of telling him randomly and.. have a hollow heart and be a tearful zombie agn. its been too long wout talks. and imagine if i were t take th risk now. tht wld be embarrassing. but i do want him t know.. yknow.. just let it out. but i dunt wna make it awkward anymore. we are alr awkward enough anyways. haha. well whatever, i'll just bottle up these feelings. if thr is a time for me t say it, i'll say it. i cant say i waited for him cos i wus w many guys aft him. but i can confidently say tht i wus trying t yknow.. forget him. get over him. but all these years, i find myself still looking for someone like him. i find myself still looking for him actually. hoping he'll gimme another chance if things doesnt work out w him and his love. but i know him.. its hard for him t move on frm her. but i do hope he would gimme some space t earn his love back somehow. slowly syaza. slowly. let time do its magic. but syaza, put in some effort okay. goodluck. sigh.

gnght aliens. i hope u have a better luck w love.
sincerely, i think smth is wrong wimme.

01 February 2012 . 17:00

just finished watching flipped. like finally. but wasted cannot download. boo. sial la, if watch this den watch a walk t remember. syaza confirm pasrah sia for days and weeks. eesh. im sucha loser whn it comes t these kinda stories. sigh. it wus annoying cos it keeps repeating th same scenes but from th guy and th girl point of view. and th ending wus kinda weak but come t think of it, it makes sense. a good sense. and its a good thing. cos th show shows tht eventho u are crushing, patience would make u think and realise alot of stuffs from different perspective. and you get t see another side of th person. eh sigh, th tree me like. if i can plant tht tree in my house, i would. and every morning, i'll climb just t see th sunrise. ive always dreamt of a backyard w a treehouse and swing.
and i like how they use this girl. yea, she may not be th hotstuffs and all but not all girls hotstuffs what. and i like how th story line goes from plain jane t beautiful. just like a walk t remember.
haiy, i wunt stop thinking nonsense for atleast tonight la nampaknya. haha.

i had a nice time today. no, not nice. a comfortable happy time today. i like how im not awkward around you and i like how i dunt stress t please you. you make me that comfortable in my skin. and i am glad of tht. not many people would see me so comfortable so soon. hah. and i saw another side of you during our meet just now. well, i wunt write much since idk who reads and who doesnt. must be careful. heh.

Virgos are often put down badly by many astrologers and written up as being fussy and narrow-minded. But when a Virgo shines, there is practically no sign to match their inner light. An in-tune Virgo is a treat to meet. When a Virgo is confident within themselves they are the most successful, structured and creative of all the signs.

Many Virgos can be found working in the "service to others" industries, ranging from welfare work, doctors, school-teachers through to practising natural forms of healing like massage, herbal remedies etc. One of the most magical characteristics of the Virgo is no matter how many times life or romance turns sour on them, they still manage to maintain faith in others, refusing to become cynical. There is ingenuity around this sign, a kind-heartedness, which unfortunately is sometimes played upon by others for their advantage. Virgos can often become victims of relationship power-games, where they are mistreated.

Creative and sensitive, Virgos are delicate people who, like rare and special orchids, require individual treatment to fully blossom into their true unique beauty. Shy, they are happy to allow others to take centre-stage and often generate their time and energy into making those they love happy or successful.

Virgos are givers and when the chips are down and you need a friend, the one available during those testing times when you need advice or companionship the most, is likely to be a Virgo. Virgos understand human frailties better than most, because they are so deep and reflective themselves. With a Virgo in your life you have someone who understands and cares and any romance or friendship based upon these qualities is certain to be mutually rewarding.

31 January 2012 . 16:11

why am i feeling so sian these weeks? why do i get affected by tiny shit this days? i havent been getting affected for so long man. i think it started during dotc1 whn.. ykno.. that happened. HAIYA SIAN.
whats so wrong about my face? why do people like t comment about my face? its just a face. it shows boredom. its a blank face. a face tht is suppose t passby and not get noticed. seriously what. the. fuck. la k. idk why. i think th most sensitive thing ppl can judge about me is my face. i think cos it links back t my fucked up past. i think cos it links back t incidents whr i got in trouble w my dad. cos it links back t incidents whr i got in trouble w th head teacher of my batch. whr unnecessary troubles were created and times were wasted. i feel sad thinking about those times. i still remembered whn i wasted time trying t practice a face whr i cn please people or be ignored. i remembered whn dad seriously told me t stand infront of a mirror everyday t look at my face and make it into a pleasing face so tht i wunt be in trouble and i wunt displease(/unplease/whateverfuck you say it) anyone. cmon, how th fuck can you train your face into becoming smth they are not. its my natural face. what can i do about it?
dyou kno what my resolution is.. whn i start t work and have enough money.. imma go for a plastic surgery t have a more pleasant face. anddd imma go and laser my eyes so tht i wunt need t use specs. seriously. my dad even said tht i wunt go anywhr w this face of mine cos no work would want this face. yup. HAIYA SIAN.
syaza, are you okay? syaza why dyou look like you're about t commit suicide? syaza are you mad? syaza are you gna whack somebody soon? syaza have bad vibes. syaza have an unpleasant face. syaza's face makes her unapproachable. syaza lek uh. syaza is arrogant. syaza is ignorant. syaza is depressed. APA LAGI KORANG NAK COMMENT PASAL MUKA AKU?! CEPAT LAI UH. FUCK YOU ALL FOR JUDGING MY FUCKING FACE. FUCK YOU ALL FOR JUDGING GOD'S CREATION. so what if i have an ugly, unapproachable, bad vibed depressed face?! even whn you say all these, you do see me smile t people i know. why do they NOT CARE and still tried t be my friend?! IF I AM THAT UNAPPROACHABLE, WHY DO ALL THESE PEOPLE TAKE THEIR TIME TO SLOWLY GET T KNOW ME?! WHY ARENT THEY AFRAID OF MY FACE?! th annoying thing is that, you guys know me. i act normal in your presence and you know how i am. but did you even take th time t know me? no. you just stared at me while i talk and you comment shit about my face. you ask me t smile more? fuck. why must i smile at you whn you dunt even smile at me?
its just.. sad yknow. hurgh.
and people have been talking about graduation and sips and leaving sch these days. which makes me even more sad. cant you just let th days passby and not remind me of this depressing topic? i have come t realise that im closer t year2s and year3s. and these months have been pleasing for me cos ive found my lepak people. and im getting comfortable. getting comfortable t th point whr i can be rude, joke, complain, have fun, express wout being judged, changing opinions and advices wout a grudge. yknow, those special people whr you keep finding whn you are not busy w work. its hard for me t be this way. and it usually takes a longer time. but w these people, im so comfortable tht i opened up more.
im sorry t say but im not like tht w th year1s yet. and i dunt think i'll ever be tht comfortable. yeah, i may be close t some and some may treat me as their close ones (maybe) but they are th type whr i cn just not think about thm somedays. whereas th year2s and 3s.. i could just drop whtever im doing most of th time just t meet them. even for a quick break. thts how special they are. why.. why is this happening?
i tried w th year1s but im not fully open t accept them. however close they are, they are not th closest. and wht will happen whn im in year2 and th current year3s have graduated and th year2s have gone for their sips? who can i find t just stone and chill? teh session? complain and bitch t? express myself? im going mad here people. andden th next year, whn im in year3 and im all stuck in th stupid sch. lg worse. huuuuuuuurgh. im so sad. this is why i love closing up myself and use my face. so tht i wunt get so attached. its hard whn im attached t people. i tend t find them. alot. yea, you can say clingy. but thts just me. sian.

29 January 2012 . 16:48

yest wus fun. had a random outing w family t millenia walk or smth just t survey furnitures and i got a piggyback from daddy. tadaaa th peecha ontop. huhu. maybe i'll wear tht geekspec t sch tmr if my eyes are okay enough fr ctcs la. hee. anyways gna wear tht outfit agn tmr since its not tht dirty. heh. :/ diam uh.
yeah, i maybe turning 20 this year, but i love it whn i get piggyrides. th one on top wus random. we were abt t walk off t get a cab frm some nearby plc and i wus like 'ayaaaaah.. piggybackkkk.' and he turned and allowed me t climb. hee.
anyhoos, today went parkway t buy sis's mp3, printer's ink and just have a walkabout. kinda teared out of frustration towards th end thanks t daddy.
i hate how he remembers all my bad times and love bringing it up but never sees my good days and praising me for it. im still your daughter ykno, one who craves attention and love from you. however boyish i may be, however rough, im still your daughter.
anyways, aft tht fucked up moment in th middle of parkway, i just walked off w mama trailing at th back since we are going off first t head t ibu house. aft afew songs blasted and i had my cool back, i lashed out my frustration t her as i have been doing tht these days. and she undstood. cos she knows me better these days.
around 8ish, went opp my aunt house t join th bbq party at cher's house. it wus.. okay? there i realise smth else. and tht smth else wus kinda saddening. wus sitting at th 'lepak' table which includes only isk and hans and sometimes ellie and cher would join.. and as i wus stoning in th direction of my admers, i realise i feel like an outsider eventhough im close w some of thm at certain period of time. they can connect through fashion, shopping sprees and outings and im mostly not w them. idk.. i just dunt seem t be able t feel any special bonds w any of them. however close we may be. like w cher, i hug and hold hands also but honestly, i could just abandon her anytime of th day i want. even anza. im still trying t figure out why but i just cant pinpoint t anywhr. so yup. am i a bad friend? :/
uhm yaaaaa, honestly, i wus tempted t try a sip of yknow what agn. haiyo syaza. enough is enough k.
went off alone at 9plus cos i wna show daddy tht i could keep my promises whn i meet my friends. so here i am and i hope they do wake me up for class tmr since they are sleeping over at cher's house.

26 January 2012 . 18:07

hi thr(:
since im in a very uhm, storytelling mode, i'll let u into my past aight.

i had 5 before this. though i wouldnt really count them as 5. th first wus a lil confusing. u could have said we lasted 6months or 1andhalf years. though i like t say we lasted for 1andhalf years. th second one wus for only 3 months. th third and fourth were only for afew weeks and th last lasted for 11months.
now ykno why i wouldnt count em as 5? if i wus being nice, i'd say i count em as 3. if not 2.

im actually more comfortable w guys rather den girls, thus th many guyfriends. eventho i made friends w girls too, none were too close til i could declare her comfortably as my girlf. for now, i'd say i have two. one from sec sch, and one from ite. yuuuup. eventho im comfortable w guys, as time went by, i wus afraid t be real close t just a guy cos somehow, they'll fall for me. and their reasons are always similar.. they wanting t be thr for me. th troubled me tht i dint show much t th world. i grew sick and tired and even got insecure. i even lost a guy bestf because of this fear. and im still regretting it. cos he could have been th best guyf t have from my ite.

okay wait, back track abit k. lemme start from right at th beginning so u wunt be confused.

whn i entered sec1, i wus a damn tomboy and like u, i dint search for love. i dunt even kno wht love wus. my first wus just a random guy who wus in th same malay class as me. he got teased damn badly in class cos he is very quiet and blur. and as time goes by, butterflies started conquering my tummy and well, i admitted i wus crushing on him awhile aft tht. as per normal in sec sch, i got teased by those who kno and slowly, he got t kno. he's a shy guy so we dint talk much. but soon started t get close as i made more friends and netballers and soccer players got close and became a clique. frm thr, everyth started. w th help from our friends, we got t go out tgt and learn about each othr better. outings w friends, dinner aft matches and jamming sessions were all th cause of us getting close t each other. aft months of going out, he held my hands for th first time and.. i just let it be.tht wus th unofficial part. but u could say we were an unofficial official couple in our batch la. 11sept05, my birthday, i wus happy t be able t call him mine finally. we lasted about 3 months den and broke up on 28thdec due t our families threatening us and us fighting cos of pressure and lack of trust suddenly. but on th 11th apr, we patched up and things got back t normal. our final break up wus my choice because he dint talk t me for a month and i thought, w th drama going on.. why let th one u love suffer right? so i whispered t him tht we'll stay as friends. and i regretted it and cried but i think i did a good deed cos he got th girl and lasted more den 2years i think.
i like him because things were slow w him. we got t kno each othr. eventho we hanged out tgt alot, we dint talk alot. shy mah. heh. and he took time t get t kno me and i kno he wus sincere because of tht. he dint rush t hold my hand straight away or t just kiss me. nth of tht sort. whn we parted, he still called me at night just t talk because tht wus our daily routine during those past months. and i still remember clearly whn he wus singing a backstreet boys song or smth and it wus clearly meant for us and we cried til i fall asleep.

its not th full story ah but i malas abit alr la. mata like this alr ---> -.- heh.

and ya. th rest were history. because eventho i wus w thm. secretly, i tried t find my first in thm. even a tiny bit of him. even my latest one, which ended last year.. i wus still searching. and i did told my guy abt it. we actually lasted 11months because he kept insisting tht we try eventho i dint wna try. but ya. tht one stupid story ah. i dowana talk about those moments.

but yeah, because i keep showing ppl my happy side den, th guys tht i got close t used th reason and advantage of holding me so tht they could comfort me and such. i dare t say tht i think i wus a cheap ass bitch during th past. hah. t think back on how easy guys could just touch and hold on t me disgust me now. i mean yeah, ofcourse i like being hugged whn im sad and stuffs, but these guys.. they take advantage. and somewhr deep in my mind, i kno it yet i dint do anyth abt it. hah, hmm.

anyways, tht wus one ass guy i treasured in sec sch la.
in ite, my first guy bestf tht i made wus lost aft a few months of sch. tht wus my mistake because i wus stupid t get pressured and influenced by my coursemates. tht wus a gigantic mistake because well, im comfortable w him. he knows i like t blast my music t sch in th morn because im not a morning person. our greetings were just a middle finger in th air and a stare. our language mainly contains vulgarities, nonsensical jokes, laughters and more vulgarities. he knows i smoke and he'll gimme my me time w my friends during break t get out and have a puff. but yet he would just text t remind me not t smoke so much. my advice tyou, if u have a friend of th opposite gender tht u feel damn comfortable w straight away, dunt let her go. however awkward th situation may be. cos it would be hard t get them back. aft an incident, i ignored him i regretted and til now, even whn we meet. we are still awkward.

those were by far, my best guys tht i had. (not including my kaki lepak which are all mostly guys ah.)

th rest are history because they took it too far and took me for granted. well, thats wht i thought la. i mean, i hate those too mushy idiots out thr. and i hate whn they use my favourite things t kinda woo me in a mushy way. like.. thr wus this guy who asked like half th class including my teacher and his outside friends t send me a text each during vday. konon dia mcm spam wish me happy vday and uhm talk about the moon (MY BABY) and it rly sounded real mushy tht i got fucked up and ask him t get lost. cmon la, baru kenal dia da pegang my tangan seme eh. eesh. ni org baru mintak kena campak lipas tau!

in summary..
i fall randomly. i hate being too mushy. i hate tht they take advantage of me just cos i so jantan and open. i make stupid decisions. i feel cheap at times whn my mind decide t take me on a trip down memory lane. my vulgarities and roughness are just a cover so tht ppl wouldnt wna get t kno me. ppl use my weak and miserable side t take advantage. im sick and tired of being used as a rebound or a play thing.
AND IDK WHY I JUST POSTED THIS.
actually i forgot wht my main reason of posting was.
yuuuuuuup.

24 January 2012 . 16:51

THANKS ALOT AH.k i kno i perangai loser for getting mad at tht mini prank but i am mad. idk for what reason. whn i tell u tht i really am disgusted by smth, it means i rly am. which means i can do pathetic girly reactions because of it. i swear. whn i saw tht cockroach on my wall, i srsly pushed my laptop away. i swear all th tiny hair on my arms stood. and im so disgusted by it tht i feel like vomitting. as a matter of fact, my eyes are tearing. no im not crying. my eyes flooded ony ah. i hate whn people do this cos my mind put things into pictures fr me t remember and i cn remember it fr long. and its not a matter of friend or dunt friend. i'll entertain you whn th demon is safely locked in me agn. u just wait if u care uh.

im sorry but im gna ignore u til im cooled down.
yea i started th ball rollin, yea i dunt mind th pic.
i get mad at random stuffs and takes time t cool down.
live and learn boy. this is me.

14 December 2011 . 17:00

i dunt undstand why i have t clean keano's butt when im rushing my ass off for submission tomro. its almost 1am and i need my sleep too ykno. it fustrates me that they keep asking me t do it. ya i kno i havent been doing my part in taking care of th cat's litter and stuffs but cant you see im busy trying t survive in sch? trying t survive hell week? fuck. sister is not schling, enjoying her hols and staying at hm, making her butt bigger. why dunt you ask her? she doesnt even do th chores everyday la. but you believed she did jst because she said yes. th truth is, the maid has been doing her shitload and she is jst taking th fame of being a good kid. oh bloody hell. you owe me fucking 93bucks fr my sch stuffs yet you dunt pay me back and still have th guts t scold me fr finishing my f1 money in a month. dude, i used it fr sch. i dint think it will cost alot. pay me back and shut the fuck up yo. srsly. you dunt wna pay back, that just shut the fuck up and stop making me realise tht i hv no emergency money and have t think twice bfr spending. talking about money, i heard you gave sister 20bucks jst cos she accompanied mom t go shopping? you're fucking srs? if like that, pay me too. ive accompanied her t th mosque, t th clinic, t shop, t events. ive even taken your responsibility and became their bodyguards at night events jst so tht nth will happen t them while you pretend t be sick and went hm early. bloody fuck. thr wasnt even a thank you from you dude.
i kno ppl would say its small matters and such but im jst so sick and tired of being pressurised and put und th microscope jst because ive been cming hm late and not having savings. dude, its design sch. everyone stays back til late t rush for th deadline. dunt tell me you dunt undstand cos you fucking stay in th office til late too. its th same. i learn it frm you yo. and pls, stop telling me to sleep when i have assignments t finish off. its not like you dunt do th same. you stay til 5am jst doing nth, smoking and watching youtube videos. atleast im up doing smth productive k fuck.
its true wht they say. the children does take aft th parents aft all. i have a bad temper like my dad. i smoke like my dad. i stay up at night like my dad. im slacky like my dad. i cant wake up early like my dad. my whole attitude is like him and yet my parents cant undstand my needs at all.
dykno how much it hurts and how embarassing it is t get all this juicy news and tales from my own cousins. dykno how embarassing it is t let ppl notice th huge difference on how you treat your kids.
im jst so frustrated and trying t be quiet and taking all in wout complaining. but this time, i jst need t let it out. i cant let it out t anyone because i'll take hours t pour everything out. and i'll cry. so here i am, updating my blog at last.